I've always been introverted & quiet with poeple I'm not close to. I always wonder if people who don't know me well will label me as 'the awkward girl'. Because I find myself pretty awkward too. I was borned & raised this way. I didn't have to do much talking or be independent as my Mom was really protective of me & my brother. I'm grateful that she only wants what's best for her children & I'm definitely not blaming her or anything. It's just that the way I was brought up moulded my personality to be become what it is today. I don't consider myself anti-social since I DO talk to people at work and personal friends. If I have a choice and choose not to talk to anyone, it's just that I can't be bothered. I'm not the kind of person who is friendly and outgoing and extroverted. No, definitely not. If I behave that way, it's either that I've been drinking one too many, or I'm just not being me.
I don't have many friends who I can be myself with. I have a boyfriend of two years & counting who I can talk about anything within the solar system with. I have a close friend of nine years who is studying in Canada and we interact by email since our time zones are almost opposite so we can't skype. Plus, we're both busy with our individual lives. I have friends from secondary school who I rarely talk to. They do invite me to birthday parties & gatherings occasionally but I remember feeling left out in their conversations the last time. I know they make the effort to create a common topic for me but I can see that they're trying hard and it's not that they are genuinely interested in the topic. Like it's just for my sake. We sort of drifted apart because firstly, I'm the quiet sort so I don't initiate conversations or talk much, secondly, all of them studied in polytechnics while I studied hospitality at a private school, resulting in further lacking of common things to talk about.
I feel like I only have one friend, besides my boyfriend. The worst part is, she's so far away. :( I miss her, I really do. I'm always open to making new friends, though I'm quiet and introverted. I believe everyone needs friends. Genuine ones, definitely. Not hypocritical, good-weather friends. I have always been thinking to myself if I could find a new friend, or friends, who like me for who I really am & we have things in common. Such as, being introverted to unfamiliar people but actually open to making new friends, can be geeky but wild & open-minded at different times, likes going to bookstores, cooking, travelling, movies, stuff that I enjoy and him/her as well.
I have my boyfriend who's super duper nice to me and likes me for ME. Let me talk a bit about him. He's four years older than I am and was born and raised in Malaysia. He's Chinese like me & works as a sous chef at an alfresco restaurant/bar(great chill-out place!) near the beach. We met more than 2 years ago at the hotel where I was doing my internship at. I've met his family in Malaysia before and he, mine. We hang out whenever he has day offs. I work office hours on weekdays only so my schedule is fixed and I get weekends off. As for him, his schedule changes every week so we try as much as we can to meet up. Sometimes, weekends but more often, dinners on weekdays after I finish work. He's my boyfriend & best friend but soulmate? I'm not sure, yet.
It would be nice if we tried living together. It would be a huge step in our relationship because we will have the chance to take care of each other and get to know each other better. But, my parents are pretty conservative so I don't want to enrage them and my boyfriend's okay with that. He's really the best! So, I can't let him slip away. Haha!
In Singapore, couples usually get married before living together. That's the way it has been since decades ago and it still is. It's perfectly normal to stay with parents before marriage even if the child is thirty years old or more. Unless, he or she wants to move out on his or her own. I know girl friends in their twenties who are living with their boyfriends. When they moved out of their own homes, ALL of them got into fights with the parents because moving out and living with your other half before marriage is not socially acceptable yet.
I'm pretty happy with where I am at the moment and I should really take a shower + head to bed now. Good night.
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